Steiner's Digest

Berlin ist im Wahlfieber. Das lässt vermuten, dass bei Abendgesellschaften das Thema Politik in den kommenden Wochen nicht ganz ausgeklammert werden kann.

Aus diesem Grund halte ich es für angebracht, hier einmal die diesbezüglichen, noch immer geltenden Verhaltensrichtlinien des Benimmpapstes Cecil B. Hartley aus dem Jahre 1875 zu zitieren:

One of the first rules for a guide in polite conversation, is to avoid political or religious discussions in general society. Such discussions lead almost invariably to irritating differences of opinion, often to open quarrels, and a coolness of feeling which might have been avoided by dropping the distasteful subject as soon as marked differences of opinion arose. It is but one out of many that can discuss either political or religious differences, with candor and judgment, and yet so far control his language and temper as to avoid either giving or taking offence.

In their place, in circles which have met for such discussions, in a tête à tête conversation, in a small party of gentlemen where each is ready courteously to listen to the others, politics may be discussed with perfect propriety, but in the drawing-room, at the dinner-table, or in the society of ladies, these topics are best avoided.

If you are drawn into such a discussion without intending to be so, be careful that your individual opinion does not lead you into language and actions unbecoming a gentleman. Listen courteously to those whose opinions do not agree with yours, and keep your temper. A man in a passion ceases to be a gentleman.

Even if convinced that your opponent is utterly wrong, yield gracefully, decline further discussion, or dextrously turn the conversation, but do not obstinately defend your own opinion until you become angry, or more excited than is becoming to a gentleman.

Many there are who, giving their opinion, not as an opinion but as a law, will defend their position by such phrases, as: “Well, if I were president, or governor, I would,” &c.—and while by the warmth of their argument they prove that they are utterly unable to govern their own temper, they will endeavor to persuade you that they are perfectly competent to take charge of the government of the nation.

Retain, if you will, a fixed political opinion, yet do not parade it upon all occasions, and, above all, do not endeavor to force others to agree with you. Listen calmly to their ideas upon the same subjects, and if you cannot agree, differ politely, and while your opponent may set you down as a bad politician, let him be obliged to admit that you are a gentleman.*

Dem bleibt wenig hinzuzufügen. Es ist bezeichnend, dass Hartley diese Passage gleich an den Anfang seines Benimm-Klassikers stellte und damit ihre Bedeutung unterstrich.

In meinem Salon herrscht jedenfalls bis zur Wahl strengstes Politikverbot.

*Cecil B. Hartley: The Gentlemen’s Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness; Being a Complete Guide for a Gentleman’s Conduct in All His Relations Towards Society, Boston 1875.